Live, Laugh, Love'tro

Current mood:mellow

Remembering an email I received a few weeks back I was reminded of the message.  The email was all about people and how and why they enter your life.  The coincidence of two people being in the exact same space at the exact same time has always been an interest of mine.  The simultaneous exchange of energies I believe to be much more organized than chance.

Logically speaking, imagine what it takes for one person to meet another person.  This makes perfect sense to me now.  Sometimes you just can't figure out why some things do or don't work out.  After months of feeling guilty not communicating with people I was once so close to or breaking promises that once were true, some clarity has surfaced.   Why some people come and then go… this is it!

They're not all supposed to stick around forever; we take a little part of every person we meet as we give them a little part of us.  In many other aspects of life this reoccurring exchange of energies repeats itself.  I've learned that I try entirely too hard to maintain relationships with people solely for the sake of maintaining relationships.  I have recently become ok with knowing that some people come, deliver, and go.  In the spirit of thanksgiving, I am very thankful for the experiences that I have encountered as well as the ones yet to come.   Experiences or experiments, it's all about learning about you.  Sure, give credit to the people who have enhanced your experiences but also don't rely on those people to enhance your experiences.

Current mood:drained

The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak. - Hans Hofmann

Learning another one of life's infamous "valuable lessons", has led me to the conclusion that it's definitely eat or be eaten.  Admitting a personal flaw to oneself is one thing but having those flaws acknowledged by someone else is a whole different story.  Becoming exposed, I learned today that I create limitations for myself when there are really none.  Assuming that this deems me complicated, all along it was simpler than I ever imagined.  Sure people care about you but when it comes down to it they are unable to feel the same emotions that are connected to your self revelations.  

Oct 31, 2006

Mind over matter = Easy as Pi…

Current mood:determined

Well it seems to be that writing has some healing powers when it comes to inner turmoil.  This turmoil is merely a figment of my imagination and I am learning to give myself credit for these newly discovered strengths.  I have been and will continue to be put in situations that really test the thickness of this skin.  The mind is such a beautiful and powerful tool but as every positive has its negative the mind can also contribute to clouded visions. I wonder if becoming accustomed to new things is as easy as creating a new habit.  They say it takes 21 days to create a new or break an old habit.  By this rational, if I think the same thought consciously every single morning when I wake up will I begin to truly believe it?  I think this is what I shall try.  While creating new habits and breaking old ones, I may as well try to arrive to work on time and quit smoking.  One step at a time I suppose will lead to these achievements I will soon call my own.  To becoming accustomed to those things, people, situations, and habits that once dampened the spirit… Salute! 

Oct 25, 2006

Bah bah bah Benny and the Jets...

Current mood:bouncy

I'm not sure how well this is going to turn out due to the large amount of caffiene in my system right now but here goes it.  Oh and please excuse all typos and grammatical errors before you go any farther.  So my brain is telling my fingers to type faster than my fingers can physically type, it's quite amusing.  Today is the day that I teach myself a new trick; the dreaded queue management.  What is it, you ask?  For me, it's the managing of files or reservations simultaneously so basically no one gets screwed whilst trying to trot the globe.  I've been here for a year and can honestly say that I never cared to learn how to use them.  Brianne, you can vouch for that!  After the gut-wrenching conversation with my boss aka dessert, I realized that If I'm ever going to get her to shut-up I'd better pay attention.  Sort of the old school type, she thinks that things can only be done one way.  One way and that's the correct way.  Well, always up for a dual, I have my own way of doing things.  I'm sorta the "If it ain't broke then don't fix it" chick.  Reminded of my apparent confrontational mannerisms, someone pointed out that it may take some time to get accustomed to doing things differently.  These new behaviors just may lead to a more effective me.  All this about queue management... of course not!  This is about learning to break routines.  Just because one has made something a habit or routine doesn't mean that it's the only or most effective way to perform.  So here I am, accepting changes in other aspects of my life... I might as well give this queue crap a shot!  As if Arians need to be more organized or obsessive, this may be just the right amount of chaos I need.  

Oct 24, 2006

Becoming Katie...

Current mood:accomplished

50 things you may or may not know.

1. I have a touch of OCD.

2. I sometimes have commitment issues.

3. I'm an artist.

4. I love all colors equally.

5. I love to learn about anything.  I just learned how to change brakes.

6. I drink hot tea.

7. I used to be in plays.

8. Sometimes I'm EMO.

9. I love to sing.

10. There are only a select few who have heard me.

11. I have a personal hit list.

12. I don't love pork.

13. I don't watch TV.

14. I love red wine!

15. I give people nicknames, if I like them.

16. I own every season of Friends and watch them periodically.

17. I don't like chocolate or icecream.

18. I sing when I'm hoarse so I can sound like Janis Joplin.

19. I've never had surgery.

20. I'm a whiskey girl.

21. I'm very open-minded.

22. My parents are still married, and we never moved, not once.

23. I love, love, love to sleep.

24. I'm not a big fan of food; I don't think I really need it.

25. Sometimes I can be a selfish bitch.

26. I have a hard time tolerating idiocy.

27. I love collarbones.

28. I am an on & off vegetarian, silly I know.

29. I hate that people that remind me of myself.

30. I believe in Karma.

31. I easily forgive people.  Life is way too short for grudges.

32. I hate surprises.

33. I have anxiety attacks.

34. I keep secrets, but can't say I keep promises.

35. I have don't have any ink, and just pierced in my ears.

36. I love getting randomly lost.

37. I'm a thrill seeker.

38. I don't get mad often, but I get frustrated easily.

39. I love an atlas.

40. I get Dictionary.com "word of the day" and I try to use them daily.

41. I enjoy writing.

42. I love language and vocabulary.

43. I'm sarcastic.

44. I love video games!  I'm pretty good for a chick.

45. I'm nowhere near shy, I love people!

46. One of my all time favorite foods is Campbell's chicken noodle soup.

47. I could survive on pretzels and nuts.

48. I rarely say how I really feel.

49. I'm into alchemy; I love the darkroom.  

50. I always feel like I'm rushed.

Oct 23, 2006

The yellow brick road is paved with landmines...

Current mood:drained

If there is one thing I have recently learned it is that people are who they are.  The rhythm in which people operate is unique to each individual and acceptance is the hardest thing that I've been faced with.  It has always been hard for me to understand why the clearest solution in my mind is not always the priority or clearest choice in other minds.  I suppose it's a positive thing that when one becomes "blinded" by a person, an emotion, or a situation something cracks those rose-colored glasses and reality seems to rear it's ugly head.  Things arn't as they seem... well sure they are.  Things are exactly as they seem.

For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin--real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.-- Alfred D. Souza

Oct 20, 2006

Sometimes I shave my legs. 

Current mood:amused

It's the strangest thing to me how somethings you know to be so real are the farthest ones from reality.  I've never been great with surprises, the anxiety of it all would absolutely eat me alive.  Now, I embrace not knowing.  There is something very beautiful about how things work out.  Inspired by Indie Arie, it is all about loving yourself unconditionally.